The Wedding!
- Lamar Shahbazian
- 3 days ago
- 11 min read
Those of you who keep up with my blogs read about the project I did last year to search for a wedding venue for Katelyn's wedding. I thought it only fair to tell you how the event went now that it's over.
Katelyn and Sam ended up choosing the Gloria Ferrer winery just outside Sonoma, and that was a great choice. One of the things I learned is that it makes a big difference to have good people you are working with, and Frances at Gloria Ferrer was the best event coordinator! I didn't interact with her a ton, but I saw her correspondence with Katelyn and she was very responsive and professional. Not only that, she hosted us AT LEAST five times, including the initial visit, a visit to wine-taste, two visits with wedding planners, and the rehearsal the afternoon before the wedding. Over the course of our visits, I captured the view from the winery during different seasons.
One of my favorite things about the wedding was how Katelyn and Sam planned it. They set a budget, and then did everything they could to stick to it. It’s so easy to say “yes” to many things, whether it’s more food, cute personalized wedding favors, more “stuff”, etc. but they restrained themselves. Katelyn had long said that all she cared about was good food, and I think she added great cake and dancing to the list, but she stuck with it.
Once you have a date and venue selected (and those two things go hand in hand unless you are getting married on private property because many venues book up a year in advance), your next job is to set the guest list. This is also an area where you can get “scope creep,” because of course you want everyone who cares about you to be there for this big event. But, again, Katelyn and Sam stuck to their desire to have <= 60 people. This was partly to save money, but also to have an intimate feel to the event. I think they accomplished this goal admirably. This meant they invited the aunts and uncles they felt closest to, but none of the cousins.
They invited friends from work and school (in Katelyn’s case, high school, undergrad and grad school), but only those they felt closest to. The event definitely felt intimate, and the surrounding events added to our ability to get to know the people who attended. The whole event had a lovely vibe because everyone involved was there to show their support and love, with the end result being a great send-off for Katelyn and Sam into wedded bliss.
Katelyn and Sam handled all the details of the wedding, but given the event was held here in Sonoma County, we got to participate in some of the “fun stuff.” For instance, when she chose Girl and the Fig to cater the wedding, we got to go to the food tasting. We did it during Katelyn’s trip during the holidays, so it was the four of us (me, Rick, Katelyn and Ethan). It was great fun and we got to help pick the actual items that would be offered from a set of choices that we tasted.
We ended up with lots of leftovers, which we shared with visiting friends (that’s one way you know who your really good friends are, those that you can serve leftovers to comfortably (as I noted in this blog). I also went to Gloria Ferrer with Katelyn, Sam and Maya for the wine-tasting in the Spring. I was the designated driver so didn’t drink, but it was still fun.
All along, Katelyn wanted to be able to have her favorite things and people involved in the wedding. For instance, she felt strongly about providing her favorite bread from Wild Flour Bakery in Freestone, so planned that into the catering menu (and arranged with Ethan to go pick it up and help slice it the day before the event). She wanted strawberries from a local farm stand for the brunch the morning after the wedding. She wanted cake from Oliver’s Market, which led to another fun “tasting” event during the holidays, when we ordered a cake sampler for Rick’s birthday cake in December. She wanted bagels from the Bagel Mill at her brunch, and coordinated with the caterer to provide the rest of the bagel toppings.
Best of all, from my perspective, was she wanted flowers from my garden and she asked for my help in making wedding favors that were representative of our Sonoma County bounty. We harvested lavender from my garden, and separated blossoms from stems. Over 20 cups were used in handmade lavender sachets that were included in the wedding favor bag, along with wine charms, Chinese Fried nuts (made using my Mom's recipe), and blackberry jam from our own blackberries.
Initially, I was a bit intimidated to do her flowers. After all, I have no experience and no aspirations to become a florist. It turned out to be the most fun! Not only did I learn a lot, but it gave me an excuse to buy more plants and try different seeds than I would have normally.
She had selected peach and sage as her wedding colors, and luckily I already had lots of peach roses, as well as one called “Rainbow Sorbet” which was her favorite. I decided to buy a few more rosebushes, and could not find more of the “Rainbow Sorbet” variety, so I ended up going shopping with Kara and picking several rose varieties that I thought might work. I figured I would plant them “temporarily” in one of my raised beds, then give them away after the wedding.
After that, It turned out I had room for one more rose bush and wanted to buy other perennials, so Kara graciously took Katelyn and I shopping at Emerisa Gardens in Santa Rosa during her Spring trip here. We ended up buying a rose called “Top Cream,” which Katelyn and Sam planted during his weekend here. After seeing how that one blooms, I don’t think I’ll be able to give it away!
On that trip, we also found a tiny carnation in the perfect color for a boutonniere, as well as yarrow and dusty miller (silver ragwort) for filler flowers. At the Spring plant sale at Shone Farm, I found the perfect color zinnia. I also bought six packs of statice, since I knew that would last well once cut.
What ended up happening was I started paying a lot more attention to plants at nurseries or as I saw them, and adding more to the garden throughout the year. The last ones I bought were a week before the wedding, I just left them in pots and cut what I needed as we gathered flowers for the bouquet making party.
I also planted seeds, lots of colors of cosmos, as well as zinnias. These are two of my favorite flowers, and for some reason I thought the colors I chose would go with her wedding colors. We ended up using them in the table bouquets, because in the bouquet she carried we only used white and peach. Here are some photos of the flowers growing in my garden this summer:
If any of you are gardeners, you know that it’s great to have an excuse to buy plants! I ended up filling every single spot in my garden that was getting irrigated. The good part is it supplied more than enough flowers for the wedding, and I’ve been making good use of the flowers in bouquets for all sorts of purposes. I also learned a ton. Here are some of my learnings:
Last year I learned how to pollinate and protect your favorite flowers so they don’t get cross-pollinated from my friend Grace. She showed me a video, so I tried it on the “Giant Coral Zinnias” that I had started from seed and I judged were an heirloom variety. It worked! I planted those seeds in flats early in the Spring, gave a bunch away and planted some in a row in the backyard and they were almost all the coral color. That’s turning into one of my favorite colors, so while it wasn’t quite “peach” enough, we used them in the table bouquets.
I also tested different flowers and greenery to see if they would last well without water. This wasn’t a concern for the bouquets, but for the flowers on the arch. I didn’t know how long we could keep them hydrated so wanted plants that would do well for at least a day without water. I tested rosemary and bay leaves and they lasted pretty well without water. One of the greenery fillers was a type of fern I noticed in the backyard of my church friend Karen during our book group meeting, and she generously cut a bunch for us. It lasted great out of water! The best discovery, though, was this little daisy. I tested it the week before the wedding and it did well without water, so that was good to know.
While I had plenty of peach flowers, I realized I needed more white filler flowers. I had some small chrysanthemums that were white, and some double-cosmos in white, so I started deadheading and planning how I would use them. Then, Kara offered me white dahlias, and they were perfect! My neighbor Melissa also offered me access to her flowers, and she had a ton of white statice and other fillers. So generous of people to share!
One last thing I learned, I think I’m a dahlia person! I had never added them to my garden, but my friend Laura gifted me a dahlia plant in the perfect color for the bouquet. I planted it after testing it for “deer resistance” (they don’t seem to like it!) and it did well. It actually had a bonus RED dahlia as well as the original peach dahlia, and that is Austin’s favorite.
I think that was my favorite part of doing flowers for Katelyn’s wedding, the fact that it wasn’t just my flowers, but so many people contributed. At the end of the day, we ended up with flowers from four different people in her bouquet, as well as olive branches from my friends Colleen and Veronique that were tucked into the napkin with the dinner menu.
The other thing I enjoyed about the flower experience was the camaraderie enjoyed by people making bouquets together. I had hoped my sisters would get here in time to help, because I knew they were all plant people and liked projects like this, but unexpectedly some of Katelyn’s friends ended up coming over for a flower-picking/bouquet-making party. We ended up making 6 table bouquets, plus more for the brunch as well as one boutonniere and one bouquet.
For the arch we made bouquets and took them to Gloria Ferrer in water, and added them after assembling the arch and draping it with white fabric (believe it or not, we used the curtains from Katelyn’s room for that!). So much fun!
I began to practice making Katelyn's bouquet a few weeks before the event. When I put together the final version on the morning of the wedding, I have to say it was the best version ever, mostly because it had flowers contributed by others as well as my own. Here are a few shots of the final version.
In addition to the garden learning above, some of the other experiences are worth sharing:
Katelyn wanted people to experience Sonoma County, and I think that worked well. Her friends couldn’t get a lot of time off work, but there were a few that were able to spend an extra day or two. It was Sam’s family she wanted to prioritize given the limited time Rick and I had been able to spend with them up until this point, and his folks Ken and Nancy were able to come a week early. That was SO NICE! We were able to do fun Sonoma County things like introduce them to our favorite “hike” (Kortum Trail) where we got some fresh air and exercise. We also ate at some of her favorite places, including Café Aquatica in Jenner, Wild Goat in Petaluma, and they picked up Bagel Mill bagels several times.
We stopped at the creamery in Valley Ford, and got cheese for the charcuterie as well as coffee and baked goods. On the way there Katelyn got a call with a job offer, so Sam even snuck in the purchase of a tiny bottle of champagne for a celebration!
We were also able to spend time here at home. On Tuesday we keep Austin, so they were able to meet him and Nancy got some borrowed grandchild time. We went to the Farmer's Market in Sonoma, which is a favorite family tradition. Brian and Anujin were able to join us, so that made for a fun family time.
On Thursday they helped put together wedding favor bags, which also used flowers from the garden.
One of the best things we participated in was the “Welcome Dinner” Nancy and Ken hosted the night before the wedding. While it’s traditional to have a rehearsal dinner, Nancy wanted a chance for out of town guests to meet each other and that worked perfectly! I got a chance to meet their families and catch up with a few of Katelyn’s friends, so we had more quality time with these folks than we would have had if we met them for the first time at the wedding.
One of the other ways we were able to contribute to the wedding was hosting a brunch at our house the morning after. Again, Katelyn wanted her friends and Sam’s family to see where she grew up, and feed them more good Sonoma County food, and this was the perfect occasion. My sisters were here to help get prepared, even down to deep cleaning the kitchen and setting up the tables. Katelyn hired my friend Isaac Roberts, who last year switched from being chef in a restaurant to being a private chef. We had him prepare a meal last year for my birthday, and it was great. She worked with him on the menu specifics, and he was able to add some authentic Jewish dishes to her favorite salads and desserts. What a great guy to work with!
As is often the case when we host parties, knowing we’d be having people in the yard made us spend a bit more time on yard work than we normally would. It was all work that needed doing, like pruning back the shrubs and filling in with more perennials. I have to say the yard looked amazing, and the weather was perfect for outdoor dining. I was delighted our home could play a role in this momentous occasion.
The other thing I loved about this wedding was all the personal touches. Katelyn asked her friend Rosemary to officiate, and she did a wonderful job. Katelyn was friends with Rosemary in high school, and they reconnected later when Katelyn moved to Boston for grad school. They roomed together for the first year, and got to know each other even better then. Katelyn also had Saskia do her hair and make-up, which worked out great. Saskia had been cutting Katelyn’s hair since she was 14, and is often the case, became a close personal friend over that time.
Well, I could go on for days, so I’ll just mention one more thing. I know my daughter is organized, but this event gave me another glimpse of how organized she is. She used spreadsheets to organize and document everything, from lists of things to take from home, to a timeline for the days leading up to and the day of the wedding. She delegated many tasks, such as picking up bread and strawberries, or building the arch. Her organization made it much easier to communicate and coordinate. I think we all enjoyed contributing and working together made the event even more personal.
While I won’t claim to be an expert, and I certainly don’t plan to go into the business of designing floral arrangements, the wedding was great experience and I am happy I was able to be a part of it.
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