The Happiness Project - January - Boost Energy

This is a different type of blog for me. Rather than create original material based on my interests/experience, I am sharing the writing of another person and then my own reaction to it. There are twelve chapters to the book, so I plan to make this the first installment of a 12-part series.

Many years ago, I read about this book in a magazine article and then went out and bought it and read it. This book was published in 2009, so many of you may have read it or heard of it. I find that I remember something better if I take notes from it, and usually when it's a book I read it once cover to cover, then go back and reread it, taking notes as I go. This time I'm taking that a step further, and sharing it with you!

II figure everyone can use more happiness in their lives, so why not share my learning with you all? I encourage you to read the book if you haven't already, because I am sharing what I learned from it, which might be different for you. But...in case it's helpful, I share my resolutions with you.

The author starts by stating that being happy energizes you, and at the same time, having more energy makes it easier for you to engage in activities, like socializing and exercise, that boost happiness. She decides to focus on both physical and mental aspects of energy.

Physical - go to sleep earlier

The tips the author learned in her research were the following:

• Near bedtime, don't do any work that requires alert thinking

• Keep your bedroom slightly chilly

• Do a few pre-bed stretches

• Keep the lights low around bedtime

• Make your bedroom very dark

I typically don't have any trouble going to sleep at my normal bedtime, around 9:30. When I was working it was harder because I often tried to fit in work after dinner and the kid's bedtime, but now that I'm retired the things that might keep me up are usually TV time or reading a good book. My typical bedtime routine is (having showered earlier in the evening), to brush my teeth, take my bedtime meds, fill the water on my CPAP, and read until I'm sleepy. Typically, I start to nod off and then I put on my mask and go to sleep. Occasionally I fall asleep while reading, but that doesn't happen so much anymore.

I used to wake up regularly in the middle of the night, usually to pee, and then sometimes I had a hard time getting back to sleep. That was usually a sign of stress for me, so my solution was to get up and write down what was on my mind, then it felt like I could not keep it in the forefront of my mind since I knew I could always review what I had written. That doesn't happen so much lately, partly because of the meds I'm on, but also because I have a lot less stress in retirement.

Physical - exercise better

We all know the benefits of exercise - the ones the author quotes are the health benefits, that you think more clearly, that you sleep better, and that there is a delayed onset of dementia. Regular exercise also boosts energy levels. So why don't we all do it?

For me, I have to find exercise I enjoy. For many years, I would walk in the morning before work. Even in the time of year where that required me to walk in the dark, I was pretty good about getting out the door and doing it, until the time when I squinted to see the animal walking down the road in front of me, then realized it was a SKUNK! That cured me of walking in the dark.

For many years I would walk at lunchtime. In my InfoCentricity years, there was a group of co-workers who walked together, and that was a great incentive. Once I was back at FICO, the culture there had most people working through lunch at their desk, but I did try to keep walking at least occasionally. You would think that with retirement, I would be able to fit walking into my routine whenever I wanted, but for some reason I haven't. One of the tips shared by the author is to just "get out the door", and it's true that once you put on your shoes and get outside it's not that hard to keep going, so I'll have to try that on the mornings I have free.

I also like having a scheduled exercise class, as that made me more likely to do it. For many years, I went to Jazzercise after work. That meant I got home later and Rick had to handle dinner duty, but it worked out most of the time. During Covid, I cancelled my Jazzercise membership, and struggled to find a replacement. I had gone back to it, but the price had risen considerably. My friend Kimi recently invited me to join her for a Total Body Fitness class that is offered at the community center, and I have been doing that the last few months. It really helps to have someone else who will notice if you don't show up. I am also on a post-cancer medication that has the side effect of negatively impacting my bone density, so weight bearing exercise is highly recommended. This class allows me to use weights or wrist and ankle weights, and to have graduated bands as I get stronger, so I feel like I can continue to "up" the workout as I get stronger.

One of my church friends, Sue Rice, introduced me to a water aerobics class, and I like to do that once a week. A bonus is my mentee enjoys doing that class with me, so that gives me another reason to do it. I am currently testing whether that's the cause of my flare-up in sinus infections, but I hope to get back to it soon.

One of the things the author points out is that she likes to get a "gold star" for doing something right, in her case it was the "steps" reading on her pedometer. Now that many of use wearable devices that track our steps or other metrics, that is a good way to get positive reinforcement. Being a data analyst at heart but no longer having a job that requires data analysis, I like to analyze data every chance I get, even if it's from my own device! See this blog for a fun example of data analysis of the hikes Katelyn and I took.

One of the great delights of retirement is that Rick and I discovered we like to hike together. It used to be an activity I did with Katelyn, but several years ago after she went back to DC Rick and I picked up hiking and have been keeping at it since! I have documented some of our more memorable hikes here.

Whatever form of exercise you enjoy, I encourage you to try to make it happen. One of my motivators is that I want to keep my mobility as long as possible, and regular exercise is the best way to do that. I had a 93 year old woman in my Jazzercise class who came 5 days a week, even after she moved into assisted living and had to hire a taxi to bring her to class. She said her doctor told her she had the bone density of a 30 year old, and she was able to do most any activity she wanted. Taking care of my Mom, and realizing how hard it is to be in a wheelchair and have to be reliant on others to help you get anywhere, I am motivated to stay active.

Mental - toss, restore, reorganize

The author points out that constant disorder was a constant drain on her energy. While our home is fairly neat, there are definitely "piles" that accumulate and clothes in my closet that I rarely wear. I have discovered the joy in organizing a closet or drawers and not only being thrilled by opening it and seeing how neat it is, but also by KNOWING what we have and where it is.

When the kids were small, I would periodically go through their clothes and "turn over" sizes. Usually I would do a big sort once or twice a year, and then keep a "too small for xxx" box in the closet that would be the recipient of clean too-small clothes as they came out of the laundry. The same thing would happen with toys, usually I would work with the kids to clean their rooms after they got an influx of new ones, like after Christmas. I would typically put boxes in the garage and wait a few months to make sure nothing was missed, then donate it. Occasionally we would use "toy jail" as a way to penalize the kids for not cleaning up. Whatever it was that they hadn't cleaned up would go in a box in the garage for awhile until it was "released from jail". Sometimes the toys that weren't missed never came out of toy jail!

Nowadays, I have no excuses for leaving piles of clutter or having a fridge with crumbs on the shelves. I try to "deep clean" the areas of the house that don't get tackled regularly, like cleaning the pantry or the shelves of the fridge, at least a couple of times a year. Sometimes, it's our holiday party that motivates me to "de-pile", or I get annoyed by looking at the stuff!

Being a victim of the "Flint gene" (a reference to my Mom's mom who was what would now be called a hoarder), I am constantly battling the urge to keep things like empty oatmeal containers or paper towel rolls. Now that I don't have little kids doing craft projects, I really have no need to keep those things. For some things that I do have a use for, for example empty jars that I use as vases to give away flowers, I have a designated spot for them and once it's full, I don't keep any more.

I have been going through closets in the house regularly, and so far have given away things or stuck them in the garage for a future garage sale. It does feel good to make more room in the house, and to realize that we will have less work to do when we eventually move.

One of the tips shared by the author was how to clean your closet and drawers. Empty it all-together, and then only put back the stuff you wear regularly. I have found it particularly helpful to have a friend or relative help with this job, because they force you to be honest with yourself. My daughter is particularly good at being honest about whether or not I should be wearing a particular item, whether or not it still fits me, so that's helpful.

A tip I read somewhere that I have employed is to hang all the clothes you decide to keep in your closet with the hangers backwards. When you wear it and put it back, you put it in correctly. At the end of the year, or in my case when the seasons change and I bring warm/cooler clothes up from my bigger walk-in closet downstairs (my upstairs closet is pretty small), I can clearly see which things I'm not using.

It really helps to have an outlet for the things you decide to part with. In the case of clothes, giving them to charity or sharing them with someone that needs them makes it easier to part with them. These days, there are many "freebee" groups on Facebook or Nextdoor that help you find homes for things. Our church had a rummage sale and that gave me a reason/place to donate things. Nowadays, I'm back to holding a garage sale once a year with my friend Fran. Sometimes you do end up "swapping stuff", but usually whatever is left at the end of the day goes to the thrift store on the way home and I never miss it.

Mental - tackle a nagging task

All of us have a long to-do list, and not making progress on it is a stressor. I have tried various techniques over the years. I am a list person, so almost always I have a weekly to-do list. I used to keep it on whatever tablet of paper I had laying around, but a few years back Ethan bought me a calendar/book, and I find it helpful to be able to enter stuff on a future date, or keep a running list (vs. having a bunch of scraps of paper everywhere).

It's kind of old-fashioned to use a physical list vs. an electronic one, but something about writing out the list and crossing things off brings me pleasure. I do find it helpful sometimes to make a list on my phone, particularly if I have time while I'm away from home and feel the need to write stuff down so I don't forget it, or to share it with someone else. A couple of years ago Katelyn showed me how to use notes on my phone and share them, and I'm a convert!

I mentioned before that I use the "three things" technique to avoid being overwhelmed, and give myself a mental list of three things I want to get done that day. It feels less overwhelming than trying to keep the whole list in my head.

Mental - act more energetic

This one I have to say doesn't work for me. I think because I am mostly energetic, so I don't need to act energetic. But if I do have one of those rare days where I am unmotivated, I either give myself a break and do something fun like read or garden, or I write stuff down and force myself to get at least one thing done.

One of the challenges of getting things like this done is that they don't stay done. Clutter collects if we don't stay on top of it. The author shared her tips - if it takes less than one minute, she forces herself to do it. For example, rather than put the mail down on the counter where it collects, sort it, recycle or toss the 90% that is junk, and put the rest where it belongs. She also has a "evening tidy-up" where she spends 10 minutes at the end of the day doing a quick clean-up. This one is particularly effective with kids, I think, to get them in the habit of not leaving their rooms a mess for day after day. I have little versions of this, like making sure the dirty clothes are in the hamper, or wiping down the counters and stove after doing the dishes each night.

This blog wouldn't be complete without recognizing the support I receive from my spouse. Rick is much neater than I am, he makes the bed every morning, changes the towels and sheets, does laundry regularly, straightens out the TV room each evening. I really appreciate his support, and I think we've done a good job training the kids and setting a good example.

Next month's topic is to Remember Love, so stay tuned for that!